I like the Super Bowl. I really do. I didn’t watch a complete NFL game all year, but I haven’t missed a Super Bowl in years. Maybe ever.

It is so over the top, such a uniquely American entertainment spectacle, it encapsulates so much about this country that I can’t help but watch it. And what other TV program can you still have a water cooler conversation about the next day? I miss those.

And so for that reason, I watch. And I like. And as the Roman numerals tick by every year, more and more I come away thinking, “Dear God, I’m glad I don’t have a bag of crap for clients.”

Is it just me or does it seem like most brands that advertise on the Super Bowl today are trying to overcome all their flaws with immensely overproduced advertising? Soda. Candy bars. A Chevy that checks your Facebook feed. Chrysler as luxury. Of course, there are brands who actually do make good products, but they seem to let their agencies lose them in “luxury prisons” or Adrien Brody songs.

I thought the transparency of the Internet meant that our industry had moved past this idea of talking at you. Volkswagen has. With their pint-sized Darth Vader spot, they clearly knew the target, the brand and the truths about both to make something that was elegantly spot-on. But maybe if your client is a can full of corn syrup and water, well, there’s no other choice than to go with another tired male-female joke and some PG-13 language to get noticed.

Well, I noticed. I noticed that there are a lot of companies trying to put lipstick on a pig. And while that won’t make me stop watching the game, it doesn’t make me buy their stuff. It just makes me return to the office and be glad that we don’t have to sell 14-ounce bags of Doritos.